We have to do better
There is yet another scandal rocking the cheerleading world by way of sexual abuse and although I am no longer in the day-to-day world of cheer, I am saddened by the blemish it puts on the sport that has been my world for 40 years.
I don’t have children of my own, so I am not speaking as a parent. Nor am I offering advice to parents as someone who understands the pressures of parenting. I don’t.
However, I do consider the kids (now adults) that I coached, to be my surrogate children. As a coach, you are responsible for their care while at practices, games, competitions, and other events. And the thought of anyone harming my “kids” makes me want to lash out.
As an adult (social media didn’t exist when I was cheering…and minimally when I was coaching), I’ve received a few un-wanted pictures from men who think it’s cool to flash. It’s not.
Yet as an adult I can process that, and block said offenders. Our kids likely don’t know that they can do that. Especially if said offender is someone in their inner circle. A teammate. A coach. An owner of a gym.
Our kids likely have not learned that it’s ok to say no. It’s ok to block unwanted sexual advances. It’s GOOD if you report something that makes you uneasy…or is flat out a violation of your trust and respect.
I also feel for the family of the accused offenders. They lost a family member. Sometimes, when a grave error has been made, the said offender sees no other out than to take their own life. I wish he could have owned up to what he did and allowed as a coach. I wish that he could have acknowledged that it was wrong and tried to make amends. I wish that he would have stopped the abuse and find a way to keep those kids safe. Taking responsibility for our faults and working to change them is the only way to correct a wrong. Yet I also understand the fear that he must have had when he finally realized what he had done and allowed.
What I hope to see moving forward is better attention to the health and safety of those in our care. I don’t know exactly what this means. I don’t think background checks always tell us where a person is in their own head. I do think people can learn from their mistakes, but they still may need guidance and supervision. I do know that communication between owners and coaches and parents needs to be open and honest. I do know this needs to stop.
And I do know that we need to do better by way of the children and athletes in our care.
